Recipe Review: Costa Vida Sweet Pork Salad

I should probably preface this post with a disclaimer: I don't eat pork, and I hate the scent of cilantro. When I say "hate" I mean, if I chop it, I'll vomit. I'm not a puker under any circumstances but it's that gross.

Mom thawed some pork the other day when I said I wanted meat. Sadly, pork is not meat. It's a dead pig. Pigs don't get any cuter upon death and they weren't exactly gorgeous to start with.


So here's the recipe I chose from the Picky Palate via Pinterest. Obviously, my palate is picky-er. Just say'n. Here it is copied and pasted in case you're too lazy to to click through.

(Obviously, I'm too lazy to take my own picture.)

Y'all know I don't DO recipes that require bottles of this and boxes of that, but I figured since I wasn't going to be eating it, it didn't really matter. Am I right? OK then.

Sweet Pork Salad with Cilantro Dressing

2-4 lb pork roast
1 ½ Cups Coca Cola (seriously, not joking. Talk about something I don't have laying about the house)
Salt, Pepper, Garlic Seasoning Salt

Sauce:
1 Cup Coca Cola
1 Cup ketchup (I used my organic HFCS free ketchup. What a waste of perfectly good product)

Dressing:
1 jar Herdez Salsa Verde (mild tomatillo salsa, I get it at Walmart, any size)
Equal amount of prepared ranch dressing (Hidden Valley)
1 Bunch Cilantro (ew. EW. EW! I did it, and I barfed but I was trying to be true to the recipe)

10 inch wheat or flour tortillas
Shredded green leaf lettuce
Black beans, I just used canned
Cilantro lime rice (steamed rice with chopped cilantro leaves and fresh lime juice, as much as desired)
Diced tomatoes, cheese, guacamole….etc
Crispy Tortilla Strips (flour tortillas cut into thin strips and fried in vegetable oil until browned)

1. Place roast in crockpot with Coke; season with salt, pepper and garlic seasoning. Cook on low overnight, until tender.Remove roast from crockpot, discard juices. Shred pork into bite size pieces and place back into pot on low.
2. Place Cola and ketchup in a small saucepan over medium heat, stirring often. Heat to a low boil. Pour over shredded roast. Cook on low until ready to serve. (oops. I just saw this step. I was supposed to COOK it?)
3. For dressing, place equal parts salsa verde and ranch dressing into food processor or blender. Add Cilantro leaves and process until smooth. Refrigerate until ready to serve.
4. To serve: Place tortilla onto a large bowl or plate. Layer with lettuce, beans, rice, pork, dressing and tomatoes, cheese and guacamole. Cheese, guacamole and crispy tortilla strips not pictured, but really good in it!

VERDICT:

Obviously, it was totally gross. I made a cheese crisp and ate outside. I think the rest of the family ate it, but this could be because I didn't make lunch, either. Hello, there was pork in the kitchen. Like I'd go in there willingly?