Showing posts with label motherhood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label motherhood. Show all posts

Mar 18, 2012

What Do You Mean, "It's Been a Month"?

My goodness. Are you all feeling ignored? I've been truly horrid at updates of late. Partly because I'm stymied by the picture aspect. I need to add text to some pictures and I just haven't had two minutes to do so and the desire to attempt it occurring in the same part of space and time. Also, husband keeps hogging my laptop. Oh, and I can't justify the time to blog when I'm failing at my primary rolls of mother and wife.

Lucky for you, the cosmos have conspired to align and give me time to jot a few things down today.

1. CJ is in the 90th and 95th percentiles for weight and height. She's never had a drop of formula so, go boobies!

2. Placenta pills have an aftertaste and should only be taken at bed time. It's not that the aftertaste is unpleasant, exactly. It's just that I know that's what it is and I've had enough problems with the thought of taking the stupid things that an aftertaste is kind of a deal breaker. Nobody can deny these puppies work, though. Zero post partum depression, zero issues with milk supply. That's not something I've been able to say before.

3. This was my first week back in the gym. Muscle memory ROCKS. I'm already starting to get the definition back in my shoulders, arms, and butt. The abdominal area is another story entirely. It's complaining rather loudly that it doesn't know how to do very basic things. I tell it to shut up and grow a pair, and it yells back about nerve damage, blah blah. Then I tune it out and MAKE it do a sit up anyway. I NEED my core if I'm ever going to bench press more than 60 pounds.

4. The Boy has figured out how to ride his bike, thank goodness. Now he has something other than TV he loves. Also, now we can put him on bike, the girls in a stroller and roller blades on our feet and get an actual workout as a family. :D He's pretty speedy.

5. An old guy stopped me at Costco to ask if I had my baby strapped on with a curtain. Pretty much made my day. I love how wearing my babies in wraps seems to completely confound a whole subset of the population. Confounding people, in general, makes me giddy.

6. Cloth diapering is AMAZING. Honestly, it seemed rather overwhelming and kinda gross but it's FUN. I get sad on days I don't I get to wash and hang the diapers. Every three days I'm EXTRA happy because I get to make clean diapers!

7. I finished some coordinating skirts for my girls. Without patterns. Or knowing how to sew. When I get them both in the skirts at the same time, I'll take a picture. Can't promise it will make it's way on to the blog, though. You'll just have to take my word for it that they're super cute.

8. Now CJ, who has been eating pretty much since the crack of dawn and JUST gave me a break, is saying she needs more booby time. Growth spurt, anyone?

Dec 9, 2011

Morning Routine

When I wake up the first thing I do is check to see if the baby fell out of my uterus during the night. (Hey, it could happen.) Then I check in with my brain to see if, while sleeping, I've had an epiphany and can finally attach a moniker to the parasite currently inhabiting my womb.
We are having a devil of a time even coming up with a list of names for this baby. Hubs keeps shooting down all the good ones like Howard, Cedric, and Pedro. Names that end in 'S' are out and recently I learned about this thing called a sibset or sibling set. Apparently you have to choose names for your children that "go together".  Whatever. That would have been useful information to have BEFORE I started naming little people.

Then I make my kids' breakfast. No matter what I make, The Boy will complain or ask why he didn't get "a hundred of it".

Then I explain to Zsa Zsa how it's not "an accident, mama" if you did it repeatedly and on purpose. You'd think that conversation wouldn't be a daily morning occurrence, but only if you didn't know my daughter. Today it was in regards to slamming the silverware drawer. Over.and.over.and.over.again.

I get about 10 minutes of alone time in the shower while the kids watch Sesame Street before someone is mean to someone else or uses a "language word" the other kid feels mom needs to know about. At this point I'm lucky if that's long enough to shampoo and shave one leg.

Being a mom is super glamorous. Especially first thing in the morning.

Jun 19, 2011

Reading the Constructions, and Other Fun Stuff My Kids Say

The Boy is obsessed with pictographs. He's just certain he knows what everything says if there's a picture with the instructions. "Mom! I'm reading the constructions!" "OK, babe.

This past week was our first week of swimming lessons. One morning while putting on his suit, The Boy examined the clothing label, which had a pineapple on it. "Mom! This swimsuit makes it so you can EAT under water!"

He thinks he knows what all the traffic signs mean. He's nearly never right. Also, he's obsessed with no smoking signs and people who light up. He likes to tell me about the people smoking and how bad cigarettes are and how funny they smell WHILE we are walking right past the people smoking. Ferills. It's SUPER embarrassing.
The Hubs thinks it's great. Kind of like a public service, but I see this behavior spilling over into other areas of life. He talks about blind people and people who look different than us right in front of those people ALL THE TIME! Regardless of how often I tell him it's not nice. I can't tell you how I live in dread of the first time he realizes people come in different colors.  There's nothing like a four-year-old to promote humility in a parent.

Zsa Zsa has spent the week month, potty training. Yesterday she left the house for the first time without a diaper or pull up. Not only did she stay dry, she went potty at Great Grandma's house! I can't tell you how happy we were. I'm still bringing pull ups on our Great Northern Migration, next month. I may be brave, but I'm not stupid.

Zsa Zsa's also full of creative sayings. The other day she and I were running errands alone. I kept telling her how wonderful and sweet and clever she was, and she kept saying, "I not sweet. I ZSA ZSA!" "I not smart! I Zsa Zsa. Daddy smart, Sammy smart, I Zsa Zsa." That last one kinda broke my heart.
Then the next day, she hit someone else in the car, and I used her real name to let her know that wasn't nice. She said, I not ________, I a GIRL!" Then I think maybe she's figuring out adjectives are not nouns and more than one word can describe a person.

This morning she was galloping around the house saying, "Hi Daddy Forsey*, Hi Momma Forsey!" We would say, "Hi Zsa Zsa Forsey!" Her reply? "I not a forsey, I a Zsa Zsa!" So maybe not.

Two-year-olds are highly entertaining, and I wish my little girl would stop growing up so fast. I feel like I'm missing it.
*Forsey is Zsa Zsa for horsey, in case you don't speak Zsa Zsa.

May 15, 2011

Fighting Over Prayer

I love my children. I love their little hearts and their enthusiasm for prayer. I do not love that every family or meal prayer contains a fight over who gets to voice the prayer.
There are typically three prayers in the day we say as a whole family. There are four of us. Daddy is pretty good at putting people in rotation, but of necessity, SOMEONE is bound to get left out on a certain day. Usually it's a parent. Yesterday it was The Boy, and he was heartbroken. I tried to explain, but he felt so left out of our family that it made me so sad.

How do I help these little people understand that prayer is special? That it's a chance for us to visit with our Father in Heaven and be thankful for our many blessings? It's not a popularity contest, it's not something to be fought over?

Needless to say, the Spirit has be lacking in our home at prayer time for a while now. This is not helped by a two year old who doesn't see the need to maintain prayer manners if she's not the one saying the prayer.

I'm at my wit's end. Advice? PLEASE?

May 2, 2011

Santa VS Jesus

Had an interesting conversation with The Boy today. It made me question the efficacy of all the religious indoctrination we've been practicing around here of late. It went something like this:

"Mom, why does Jesus have a white beard?"
"Well, I suppose that's the color he likes it."
"No, Mom! It's because the snow at the North Pole is white!"
"Son, Santa and Jesus are not the same person."
"They AREN'T?!? How COME, Mom!"
< silence >
<more silence>
"er."
<yet more silence>
"Because they aren't. Jesus loves us all the time. Santa only loves us once a year. Or something."
Seriously, people. I had nothing.
It's possible I'm not cut out for this parenting thing.

Apr 14, 2011

Frumptastic

We have an afternoon outdoor wedding coming up. I was looking forward to seeing the family and generally participating in the merry-making, until IT occurred to me. The tiny fact that I've been a stay-at-home-mom for over four years now. This means several things, but the list starts out something like this:

  • I have nothing to wear that can't be worn pregnant or nursing. You know, other than MY wedding dress, but somehow I can't see that as being appropriate attire for a guest
  • It's been two years since I purchased new mascara. TWO YEARS! 
  • My other makeup is almost gone AND older than both my children combined
  • I need new shoes to match the dress I haven't bought yet
  • My recent weight-loss has affected the size of my... well. I need new underthings. New underthings that correct my sagging-boob disorder. (It's a medical diagnosis, look it up.)
Also I spent all, and by all I mean all and then some, of our discretionary funds putting in a garden the first week of the month so I really have no way to rectify my frumptastic situation unless I feed the family beans and rice for two weeks. Make no mistake, by the end of the month, my kids are going to be fluent in Spanish cooking, but I'll feel guilty about it. Maybe not so guilty since I just realized they get to go to the candy-themed reception followed the next week by a massive Easter breakfast and dinner.

Yesterday I packed my children with me on a little jaunt to the mall. Obviously, I was struck by psychosis, thinking it would be a good idea to take them along while I tried on dresses. The Boy did make himself useful zipping zippers, though.
Have you noticed that dresses these days are either not long enough, or if they are, the top half is lacking in coverage? It's like dress makers forgot the appropriate amount of fabric required to make an article of clothing. This phenomenon is exacerbated by my freakishly tall self. I'm sure a person even two inches shorter would not have as much of a problem finding something that covered their bits.

And do you know what I realized next? No? OK, I'll tell you. The Hubs is coming to the wedding, too. Which means he'll have to wear something.  Luckily his geek-a-licious self looks good in just about anything, assuming he remembers not to mix brown and black or white socks with dress shoes. (Seriously. I have to watch out for those kinds of shenanigans.) My shopping trip netted me one new tie for The Hubs. I'm going out again later to shop for dresses. And maybe a bra that actually fits. :D

Apr 11, 2011

HypnoBirthing

I'm so excited to start a new series on HypnoBirthing and to share what I've learned with you. (yippee!)

Recently I had the chance to attend a HypnoBirth, and I was blown away. You can check out the program's statistics here.
The series will start with the birth story from my point of view, and continue with some of the HypnoBirthing highlights and what I took away from the experience and the book.
The story is written and Mom has already agreed to share her story, but I'm waiting for t's and i's. :)

In case you don't know or forgot, I had two surgical births 20 months apart. Neither were planned or at all what I was looking/hoping for. You may or may not have read my Letter To A Bastard that goes a bit more into detail about the second birth. I don't think anyone doubts my level of obsession when it comes to birth. I've read and seen so much in the four years since that first cesarean, that running across something which moved me on such a visceral plane was shocking. I hope that you'll be equally surprised and blessed.

Stay tuned!

Jan 29, 2011

Cleaning Troubles?

Have you ever looked at your list of things to do, and thought, oh my. There's NO way I can get all of this done."

I've had that happen repeatedly lately. Like, every day.

So I was talking to my friend, Sandy, about my lack of motivation or whatever it was that was holding me back and SHE gives me the following idea, which totally WORKED!!

  1. Make a list (Stay with me, this is going somewhere)
  2. Cut the list into strips, with one job per strip of paper
  3. Fold it in half at place the strips in an empty cup
  4. Have one of your kids pull out a strip
  5. Do what it says (this is the tricky part)
  6. When you're done with the job on the paper, put it in another cup so at the end of the day, you can see how much stuff you did!
It's totally a GAME!
Who doesn't love games?

Thursday was the first day I tried this. Here's what was on my list:
  • sweep
  • mop
  • vacuum
  • load of laundry
  • another load of laundry
  • dishes
  • make chia pudding
  • shower and dress everyone
  • physical therapy
  • dinner prep
  • make the beds
  • read books to kids

I was done by 10:30. That would be 10:30 AM. Like, before lunch. The Boy just kept handing me pieces of paper and I kept doing what they said because he wanted to help and was so excited. A list like that would normally take me TWO DAYS. (I know, what a lazy mom!)
I got so much accomplished I didn't have anything to do Friday, so we went to the park and played. It was a little disconcerting to not have SOMETHING that needed doing.
Sandy puts strips of paper in that say things like do 25 pushups and play with kids.  I tried that with my list today, and we all got a few pushups and some laughs in. Have you ever watched a 3 year old attempt pushups? It's hillarious.

I'm not saying this method will work for everyone, or that it will work every day, but if you're lacking motivation sometime, I encourage you to give it a try. There's no reason I can think of that work CAN'T be fun.

Nov 18, 2010

Sick Baby

The Baby woke up this morning screaming her head off. (not literally)
She screamed through a diaper change and breakfast (ie one bite of cheesy eggs).
So I did what any good parent of a screaming child would do at 7 am.
I put everyone in the shower.
Where The Baby continued to scream.
The water was too hot.
The water was too cold.
She wanted up.
She wanted down.
I figured ten minutes of shower screaming was the upper limit of what any of us could tolerate, so I pulled out the last trick up my sleeve: Tylenol.
She kept screaming.
At this point, I was nigh unto despair, so after making an appointment with the pediatrician and dropping The Boy off at preschool, we headed to The Chiropractor.
She fell asleep on the way there. Blessed silence. But you should know, she never Never NEVER sleeps in the car.
I've not ever taken a kid to the chiropractor, but I was desperate and pretty sure she had a sinus infection. Once upon a time, pre-sinus surgery, I suffered from chronic sinus infections and chiropractic was the ONLY (short of surgery) thing that helped. Never having taken a kid in for this type of care, I didn't know what to expect.
Neither did The Baby.
After about 15 seconds of modified Logan, she melted into my chest and let the good doc do whatever he wanted.
AND she quit screaming.
Bless the chiropractor.
Bless Modified Logan, whomever he may be. I hope nobody else in that family had such a weird name.

Then we went to the pediatrician, because, why not? Plus, this was the second day in a row she was saying, "eyes. HURT!" while pointing to her maxillary sinus.
This is where we found out poor The Baby has a blister on her ear drum. Bollous Myringitis. :(
No wonder she was screaming.
This doc gave us numbing drops, which is a lot cheaper than chiropractic, and antibiotics.
Poor baby is sleeping now. I irrigated her sinuses before bed. You can pretty much imagine for yourself how that went, BUT she was breathing through her nose for the first time in two weeks as I laid her down.
Sweet Sweet baby, wake up feeling better.

Oct 21, 2010

Not Perfect-Day Five

This morning I woke up to trails of vomit off both sides of The Boy's bed where it pooled on the WHITE carpet. Today also happens to be our once-a-week-preschool-day to which The Boy looks forward all.week.long. He's sick enough I don't think he minded missing it.
Because he was sick and I had some important Facebook school business to attend to, I broke my own "no TV, ever" rule. PBS was on all morning. And Veggie Tales played all afternoon. He hasn't left the couch except one time after I gave him aloe vera juice, to barf it up. (at least he made it to the toilet first.)

I decided to stay home today because I didn't have any clean bras because my son was sick. I remoted in to my class. It's not the same with Sesame Street on in the background.
The upside of staying home is I got lots of (barfy) laundry done. :)

The upside of today was that I got through my math homework without yelling at The Hubs even one time. Trust me, this is an improvement (and something I've been working on). It's a really good thing he's my math tutor, because I would get kicked out of the math lab if I yelled at their tutors, and sometimes, math just makes me angry.
I think our marriage will survive Algebra, but I'm not taking bets for it we make it through calculus (shutter).

Oct 20, 2010

Not Perfect-Day Four

Today I decided to take a slightly different approach to parenting; it was basically the same as yesterday, except I paid even less attention to my kids, which could be why The Boy hit The Baby in the head with a screw driver.
I guess it's back to the drawing board...

To even it out, The Boy spent nearly the entire day singing "The wise man built his house upon a rock" over and over and over... repeatedly. I kinda don't think he knows what this song is about, because in his version, the foolish man also builds his house upon a rock. I believe this relates directly to The Boy's love of pounding his fist into his palm while singing the word 'rock', not that The Boy believes in relative morality.

The Baby and I got to practice letters while The Boy was sleeping. She's pretty good at 'T' but everything else is fair game. You're just as likely to hear 'B' for 'A' as for 'B'. The REAL fun part of play time was putting everything in the toy bucket, taking it out again, putting it away, well you get the idea.

The Baby spent the day caring for her baby. She told the doll that she (Zsa Zsa) was the momma, and the doll was a baby and here was her "han" (hand) and "no" (nose) and wrapping the doll in a blanket. She alternated all this cuteness with yelling "NO!" at the kitty, which I think was supposed to be the doll's big brother. I'm pretty sure this counts as a parenting fail.

When my mom got home she discovered that The Boy had found another use for her brand new Christmas decoration blocks that spell out the word "PEACE". He used them to trace his letters. At least it was with pencil, right? And how could we get mad when we ask him to trace letters once or twice a week? Blocks...paper, they're both wood products.
***
I didn't make dinner tonight. I told my family it was because our fridge was absolutely full of left overs and we needed to eat what was in there, but really, I just wanted Peanut Butter Puffins for dinner. The Hubs roasted some veggies, but I think only he and my mom ate any because by the time I felt guilty enough about not making dinner and got around to making sure the kids got at least one serving of vegetables today, they were gone. Ah well, there's always tomorrow. Assuming we've fixed the glass top stove we cracked yesterday, that is.

Following "dinner" we took everyone on a walk. Afterward you'd think we were trying to send our kids to the gas chamber, but really, we were just trying to get them to bed. Our son was SO upset by the injustice of not drinking a gallon of water right before bed that he wet his pants while crying. Yeah. This would be later on the same day he wet the bed during naps. The Hubs is so frustrated with all the night time wetting that he's threatened to go out tomorrow and buy actual diapers. Honestly, because it's EVERY FLIPPIN NIGHT, I'm leaning toward agreeing. He used to be dry 5 out of 7 nights.

Honestly though, my kids have their moments. Today The Boy took the front half of my jogging stroller, basically a wheel and two metal polls, and was running around the yard pushing it in front of him and calling it "riding my motorcycle". I'm not sure how that qualifies as a motorcycle OR riding, but he was having such a good time. Both the kids came in covered head to toe in mud. The Baby had mud in her ear. I think that takes talent. Want to know what else takes talent? Writing about how awful your day was, when really it was pretty fantastic. I got to spend most of it with my kiddos, and the parts I was away from home were short and filled with exercise. Not a bad day, really

Oct 4, 2010

I Wear Designer Babies

I'm a Babywearer. No, that's not a brand like Jimmie Chu or a weird cannibal version of clothing. I wear Custom Designed Babies specially crafted by God, The Hubs and me (we're a team).
They are wonderful, these Designer Babies.
With The Boy, I had a ring-sling designed by Dr. Sears I wore CONSTANTLY. It was great for mad dashes through airports or getting the vacuuming done before The Hubs got home from work or school. It fell short in the hands-free arena, though.
So with The Baby (who is now nearly two) I use a Wrapsody by Gypsy Mama. It's WONDERFUL.
 Us on a recent hike (it was WINDY!)
 NOTE: I don't have to hold the baby with my arms, this sling is totally hands-free.
But now the government is trying to legislate yet another aspect of our lives and tell us something that is totally normal, totally loving and yes, ancient is in fact harmful to our children. Sound familiar? No? I'll give you a hint: they did it with birth. 
This is some pretty good info on the current legislation along with the people  you can call to make a difference.
So I'm writing this post to tell you that I never feel closer to my children than when I'm wearing them. For me there was a learning curve to baby-wearing, but it wasn't modeled for me and people think it's weird that I wear my children (especially as they get older). I had a grandpa stop me in Costco Saturday asking how it worked. He thought it was a curtain. 
Visit this blog for more information on the government's attempt to dictate how we parent our children. Maybe baby-wearing isn't for every momma or every baby and that's OK, but don't you want your children to have the CHOICE?
Also go here for ways you can help.
And one more awesomely well-written blog on babywearing.

Sep 29, 2010

Teaching Tithing

If you take a peak at Facebook on occasion, you know we've had trouble keeping our eldest in bed at night. A marvelous friend gave us:
The Penny Suggestion 
Place two pennies outside the door. Each time he comes out, he looses a penny. 
Well, The Boy is no dummy and he caught on pretty quickly. He's also smart enough to make sure we put out pennies every night. 

We had a bit of trouble getting him to keep track of his pennies. A hole in the lid of the jar and the lesson that money can buy things seemed to fix the problem.
Last week we let him "buy" a date at the movies for ten pennies. He's already got more than 10 pennies this week and he wants to go buy a hot dog (not just ANY hot dog, but the kind that come on a stick).

Now that he's figured out money buys things he wants, I figure it's a great time to teach about tithing.
The Hubs and I are big fans of the Law of The Tithe, what with it's accompanying blessings and all. :D

I found three ideas on line which I think I'll incorporate along with the whys and hows of tithing throughout the coming week. In addition, we're going to go over splitting our money up into "tithe" "save" and "spend".

I wonder if any of you have some suggestions for me? Because this is the first time we're teaching a new principle, I'd like to do it right!

Sep 18, 2010

I'm Thinking....I'm Thinking...

I've been thinking about THIS:

a LOT lately.

(Stina, I'm justifying right for you.)

Sorry ADD moment. What was I saying? Oh yeah.

Babies.

Everyone is doing it. Having babies that is. Oh my. You know what I mean. 
So it occurs to me that MY baby is the age The Boy was when I had her. 
That worked out,
sort of.

So maybe it's time to be hearing the pitter-patter of little feet around our house again.
Then again, maybe I'm nuts.
Here are the Pros and Cons

PROS
Babies are nice 
Babies are cuddly
that whole "multiply and replenish" thing hasn't been repealed
we *might* be able to afford another kid
pregnancy is the only way to stop my hair falling out (that I've found so far)
We have all the clothes for either gender
I like nursing

CONS
pregnancy makes me tired
I like sleep, babies don't
no maternity health insurance coverage
I JUST had the carpets cleaned
we'd need a new car

So I feel like The Thinking Man in Night at the Museum (the second one).


He looks all smart and like he has all the answers, but really he just says, "I'm thinking....I'm thinking..."

Aug 10, 2010

I Am Going to Hell

If the environmental wackos are, for some mysterious reason, actually right; then I am going to Hell for the following reasons:

1. I NEVER, and I do mean never, remember to bring my resuable shopping bags to the store. Even if I keep them in the trunk of my car, they never never never make it into the store. I feel pretty awesome to remember to bring in both kids and a debit card.

2. Which reminds me, I drive 1/4 mile to the grocery store. I could walk, yes. But then I would buy less.

3. When I pack snacks for my kids, I pack them in plastic baggies. Yes, the kind you throw away. This is a near daily-event. Oh, and their juice boxes come individually packaged.

4. My children wear disposable diapers. My 3.5 year-old is STILL in pull-ups at night. I had every intention of ordering cloth diapers (both times) really I did. Something about figuring out a brand new baby made the environmental impact of disposable diapers fade to nothingness with remarkable speed.

5. I buy feminine products with plastic applicators. Told you, I'm SO going to H-E-double-hockey-sticks. Something tells me I'll be in good company.

Jul 5, 2010

Independence Day

What a totally awesome day! Except the parts where I had to give a prayer in church and substitute in Nursery (motto: The closest to Purgatory you can get on earth!).
Other than those parts, it was AWESOME!
Mostly because I decided I would not do homework on Sunday. Really hoping that pans out for me during my two tests Tuesday.
The morning started with both our kids toddling downstairs and climbing into bed with us. I'm normally not a huge fan of kids in the bed, but it's OK at 8am. Especially because that means someone else got The Baby up and changed her. :D
We made our way to the kitchen where we I fed the kids some peanut butter and banana sandwiches. We watched a scripture movie and I worked up a pair of patriotic beaded socks for The Baby to wear to church, along with her super cute hair bow an Auntie made her. Not that she has any hair. Anyway.

Before church we took a drive with the kids (read: tried to get them to nap BEFORE church) and ended up in Buhl, Idaho. It turns out I really like Buhl! We saw a restaurant we are TOTALLY going to try out this weekend. Don't worry, I'll blog it.
We made it back to town just in the nick of time. Only one minute to spare before the opening song of the service. The Baby napped, in case you were wondering, but The Boy did not.
After my two-hour stint in hell nursery we took ANOTHER drive. The Boy napped, the baby did not.

We went to my sister's house for dinner and games. (E, I totally owe you a game. The Baby ate one of the cards. Luckily I saw it in town this past weekend, so I can buy your hubby a new copy before you leave!) We cheated like crazy and still lost. It was great!
Mom took the two tiniest kids, The Baby included, back to her/our house about 8pm, and the rest of us made our way over to college for the local fireworks display. The Boy didn't remember fireworks from years past. He LOVED it.
He kept shouting "YA-HOO!" Which is completely cute and so much more descriptive than
"ooh! ahh!"
The Hubs and I talked about our first July 4th together. It was the first family gathering I'd attended. I'm afraid we were a TAD over-affectionate for a family gathering. Oops. Ah well. They're stuck with me now!
That pretty much sums up our festivities for the day. What did YOU do for the 4th?

Jun 3, 2010

The Mid-Mid Life Crisis: During Which I Briefly Consider Running for Elected Office

I'm having a mid-life crisis. Or to be more exact, a mid-mid life crisis. Since I'm not OLD old or anything.
Recently I finally decided what I wanted to be when I grow up, but then I realized I was ALREADY grown up and had missed my window of opportunity (i.e. pre-children) to finish the 'ol education and become a fully vetted Naturopathic Physician and/or Regular Old Physician.
Briefly I decided that didn't matter much, and I just go to school anyway.

Then I tried it.

School is FUN!

School and raising kids at the same time is not.

Possibly if I didn't have these very opinionated views on attachment parenting, I'd have an easier time leaving my children in the care of others to do whatever the heck I wanted. But my children, particularly The Boy, were so difficult to come by it feels WRONG to just up and leave them to go to school. Even when I leave them with family.

So we're back to the original question that started it all: How does Momma go about feeling self-fulfilled and worth-while?
Option One: Time/money wise it seems best to just finish my Bachelor's Degree. I'm about 40 credits away, so three semesters if I go fast.
Option Two which qualifies as dream-fulfilling, is to go to medical school, probably naturopathic, which can't happen until after Option One anyway.
Option Three is get a nurse midwife degree and attend VBACing mommas illegally. This is almost as much time and not as much money as Option Two.
Option Four is not an option: Do nothing. I've been doing nothing. Do Nothing is NOT working for me.
For kicks and giggles, here's
Option Five: become a state legislator and change the rules surrounding who's allowed to attend births.
I am now officially open to any and all suggestions. If you say, "Talk to The Hubs" though, I will scream. He wants me to be an illegal midwife. Yeah. Not so much.

May 26, 2010

Crunchy Mommies

This is a paper I wrote for my sociology class on a subculture to which I belong. :)
It's boring. Promise.
CRUNCHY MOMMIES

     You've seen us; we’re everywhere. It doesn’t hurt that we’re also loud and proud of our parenting ideals. Some call us Granola Moms or Holistic Parenting Activists, but I prefer to think of us as Crunchy Mommies. We’re the ladies who birth at home, nurse well past the first year, wear our babies and shun bouncy seats, swings, TVs and other “parent substitutes”. Our entire world revolves around our children and raising them in the most natural and nurturing way possible.


One way to spot us is to look for symbols; visual signs that convey a meaning to a group of people who share a subculture. For Crunchy Mommies this would include things like baby slings, cloth diapers and wheat germ snacks. If a Crunchy Mommy has a baby that isn’t a good walker yet, you can bet she’ll have a Moby Wrap, ring sling, Mai Tai or some other soft cloth baby carrier to use instead of hauling her offspring around in a car seat. Die-hard Crunchy Mommies carry their toddler and baby in a soft wrap at the same time. CMs are typically environmentally minded and prefer to use cloth diapers the majority of the time, but since we’re also smart women, these aren’t the cloth diapers your momma used on you! Fuzzi Buns, G Diapers, Bum Genius and other newer brands are contoured and have a removable insert that flushes, so they’re less of a hassle than old school cloth diapers while still enabling Crunchy Mommies to be “Earth Conscious”. They also come in myriad designs so we can show off our Fashion Consciousness as well! CMs are also extremely aware of what we feed our children. You’ll see us in the supermarket reading labels and vetoing anything containing High Fructose Corn Syrup or trans fats. We tend to make most of our food from scratch so we know what’s in it and can ensure the proper nutrition for our families. Some obviously Crunchy ingredients include: bulgur, quinoa, wheat germ, soy beans, tofu and lots and lots of fresh vegetables.



Crunchy Mommy’s symbols are also what make up our material culture-or physical items created by our subculture. Lots of CM’s make baby slings and wraps to sell to other mommies. We whole-sale the cloth diapers of our chosen brand and even make and sell organic baked goods and other consumables. An example is a group of moms who created Bountiful Baskets, a produce co-op, which they run to allow other Mommies access to fresh produce at cost.

Crunchy Mommies also have their own language, or system of symbols we use to communicate with one another. You’ll hear us in spirited conversation over such things as VBAC, HBAC, HBA2C, water births, free birth, tandem nursing, baby wearing, co-sleeping, and free range kids. VBAC, HBAC and HBA2C are all related. VBAC stands for vaginal birth after cesarean. HBAC is home birth after cesarean and HBA2C means home birth after two cesareans. The reason there are so many Crunchy expressions involving child birth is because a bad birthing experience is often what leads a woman to become a CM. A Crunchy Mommy has realized the system is set up to benefit the hospital employees and doctors, not the birthing mom. Once she realizes this, she also sees nearly all the ways we are encouraged by society to interact with our children benefit others, not our children or ourselves-- which leads us to co-sleeping and attachment parenting. We are told by “experts” our children must learn to sleep by themselves before they can even talk, let alone care for themselves. Why? Crunchy Mommies question that logic and then embrace bringing the baby into the parents’ bed. This has the added benefit of easier night time nursing. Babies who co-sleep are generally happier and very well adjusted. We also embrace attachment parenting, which is a philosophy that encourages parents to keep the baby with them as much as possible. Hold, snuggle, sleep with and generally have your baby near you at all times. Slings and wraps make this possible. All my children enjoy being in the sling or wrap while I do my chores and fix meals. They frequently fall asleep during vacuuming!

Crunchy Mommies value, or hold as a standard, ideas that help them parent their children in the best way possible. For most of us, this includes the idea of keeping your child near you almost always while they are in the formative years. Crunchy Mommies are very careful about who they let spend time with their children. For example, my children do not attend day care, even the child center at the gym, because there, I do not control who interacts with my children. Before my pre-schooler is allowed into someone else’s home, I get to know the family first. I invite their children over to play and spend time with the mother. If I am even a tad cautious, my child doesn’t spend time without me in that home. Our teenage babysitters must spend several days in our home with all of us before I consider letting them tend my children alone. For the most part, we put our kids to bed and then the sitter comes over to make sure the house doesn’t burn down on date nights. Crunchy Mommies also prefer Joy School and home school to traditional public schooling because we value being able to teach our children in the way that best suits them. We are also in control of the curriculum, so if we want to skip over certain parts of culture that are taught in public school (like children’s stories about homosexuals) we can. With slightly older children, Crunchy Mommies appreciate the values taught in the philosophy of Free Range Kids, or children who are allowed to play outside unattended. They go to the park by themselves and other activities that help children learn their limits but that are generally frowned upon by the general populous.

The norms, or rules by which Crunchy Mommies live, state that each Mommy does what is best for her particular child without regard to society. Each CM trusts that every set of parents knows what’s best for their child/ren. This will vary family to family and child to child. The ideas described above, such as birthing at home and wearing your baby, cooking healthfully, and home schooling are generally regarded to be the norm among Crunchy Mommies. Lots of CM’s participate in produce co-ops like Bountiful Baskets to help achieve the eating healthfully goal on a budget. It’s also the norm for Crunchy Mommies to avoid working outside the home, which means most of us operate on a very tight budget. Most CM’s are grateful to be able to raise their children so holistically.

I didn’t start out life as a Crunchy Mommy. I was a normal person until an emergency cesarean changed my life forever. Once I got over the trauma that surrounded the very unnecessarean (another subculture word) I received, my Le Leche Group members opened my eyes to another way of living. I slowly started to participate in this subculture that felt an awful lot like it belonged in San Francisco, not Idaho Falls. The more I gave up how I thought society was telling me to raise my kids, the more I enjoyed parenting. I found that as my family made choices that moved us closer to each other, it also moved us deeper into this groovy subculture of Crunchydom. Now I’m so crunchy, you have to poor milk on me, just to choke me down!

May 23, 2010

Adjusting...Or Not

The Baby is NOT doing well.
She hates that I'm gone some of the day at school. Here's the thing, I only leave twice a day. In the morning for about 90 minutes and in the evening for 2-3 hours.
We were about ready to wean, since she's almost 18 months. In fact, we were down to twice a day. Now every time I walk in the door, she wants to nurse. She pulls my shirt up any time I'm sitting down. And if I cave, then she gets mad there's not a full meal waiting there.
What on earth are we going to do in a few weeks when I need to be at school ALL day?
I knew going back to school was a bad idea. Really, I did.
I love my children, but they've become so difficult with all the changes being thrust upon them I feel a sort of relief when I need to leave the house and that's the worst part; being happy to get away. I feel just awful.

The thing I keep coming back to is, it's never going to be easier that it is now to finish school. We'll just have more kids later. And it's never going to be cheaper than it is now, because the cost of school always goes up.
These things make logical sense, but 18-month-olds and 3-year-olds are NOT logical. Not even a little bit.

All they know is their mommy, who is always there, suddenly isn't. And now she's cranky, too.
Sorry babies! I hope you are young enough to forget this summer. I know it has scarred me for life.

May 9, 2010

The Grandest of Canyons

The day before our planned migration, I had the brilliant idea to leave THAT DAY and stop over at the Grand Canyon instead of going directly to St. George. I've never seen it, despite it being the biggest tourist draw in the entire state. Amazingly I convinced The Hubs it would be a good idea. He may have since changed his mind...
I can't decide whether to curse or thank www.hotwire.com for making it possible. Honestly, who reserves hotels without it these days? I got all our rooms at close to half off. :)
I called a good friend to tell her our crazy change in plans, and she offered to watch BOTH the kids so The Hubs and I could run around like headless chickens finishing up last minute details in the morning. (THANK YOU THANK YOU, S. You're a lifesaver and a super hot pregnant lady, btw.) We left town at a little before two in the afternoon. (Did I mention we made the decision to travel a day early on the day we traveled? Yeah. With two kids. I don't recommend it.)
We arrived at our hotel with super cranky kids and reasonably calm parents. After baths for the kiddos, getting them settled in bed wasn't a big deal. That night was a little rough on the 'ol parents, as the bed was SUPER soft, and we're just not used to that level of "luxury". We like our sleep numbers at 100. :D
Anyhoodles, I woke up early and attempted to exercise but nearly died from the elevation. Sea level to rim of Grand Canyon=HUGE difference. So after 30 minutes, I got everyone up, dressed and down to breakfast. All that plus packing the car took THREE hours. We didn't drive into the canyon until 9. (Well, into the park. I doubt I'd be typing if we'd actually driven into the literal canyon.)
It turns out the Grand Canyon isn't so much fun with little kids, but my expectations were super low, so it worked out. Here's a sample of the day:
"Hey! get back from there!" "WHY??!" "Because, you silly boy, you'll fall in!"
and
"Look Mom! A SLIDE!"
"NOOOOOOOOOO! Not a slide. Canyon. CAN-YON."
Almost no hiking took place, which is just as well. (See above reference to elevation changes.)
The Hubs and I have been talking about doing Havasupi for an anniversary trip. After this little experience, I mentioned I'd like to do some Blood Doping before the planned hike. The Hubs is NOT on board with that plan. Needles, you know. Oh, and the part where blood is involved. He's not so into that. Sometime remind me to relate "The Uterus" story. It's a GREAT one, for, you know, embarrassing my hubby.

We continued on to St. George in reasonably good spirits, visited some cousins and Aunts and Uncles and turned in with a little more difficulty than the previous night, but nothing this super mom couldn't handle.

To Be Continued...
I'm done blogging for the night. Despite this being Mother's Day, it super sucked for me so I'm going to bed so it can just be OVER already.