Movie Reviews: Gnomeo and Juliet

Because this movie is already out on video, I'm just going to give you the lowdown: Red Box it if you must.

The story has been done to death. Putting it in the context of Garden Gnomes did not, in any way, take away the stench of overdone-ness. It also wasn't worth the extra money for 3D.
The only positive thing I have to say about this movie is, at least the 3D didn't make me sick.

The war between the owners of the two gardens was by far the most entertaining part of the entire thing. Catching the Shakespeare references also helped pass the time.

My friend and I took two ten-year-olds, two four-year-olds, a two year-old and a one-year-old to this movie.

The older kids sat through it, but didn't have much to say on the way home. My four-year-old liked it, because the pictures moved and talked! (He's easily entertained. Also, he likes Dora and Diego so maybe his tastes aren't the most discerning.) The other four-year-old was all over the place, but that's just kinda her general reaction to the world at large.
The two-year-old sat through it fine, and the baby had the most honest opinion: she kept trying to get up and leave.

Movie Reviews: Thor

In case you looked at Thor and thought, "eh" can I just say, you should reconsider? We went in to this movie not expecting much. After all, it's a superhero movie following arguably the worst Marvel Comic Hero of all time. By worst, I mean most boring AND stupidest costume.


Luckily, Kenneth Branagh decided to direct it, so of COURSE it was fabulous.

In case you don't know, Kenneth is a classically trained at the Royal Academy for Dramatic Art. That's movie speak for: a good actor who may or may not be nice to look at. In his case, he falls into the former category. Personally, I think he looks a little like The Hubs. I digress. He's also directed a decent number of quality films.

Back to the movie.

Thor is visually stunning. The CG is incredibly well done and relevant to the plot.
The story arc is reasonably decent. Better than a Thor comic, not as visceral as say, an X-Men movie.
The acting is also well done. Anthony Hopkins plays Odin All-Father. He was a little hard to recognize under all that hair and bulky armor, but WOW is he a good actor. I believe he's another RADA graduate.

The title lead, Chris Hemsworth, wasn't someone I've run across before, but I can assure you the scene wherein he goes shirtless is totally worth the cost of admission.
 Also, his portrayal of Thor was decent.

Natalie Portman was Natalie Portman. In her defense, she didn't have much to work with. Her character didn't have any development.

All in all, I say it's worth seeing in Theater to support a well done movie that doesn't depend on sex or poor language to sell it.
No cussing, no nudity (other than our shirtless hero) and the costumes covered the females. I thought the addition of classy costumes that weren't slutty was really a breath of needed fresh air in mainstream Hollywood. Thanks, Kenneth, for making a quality movie worth seeing and not selling out for T&A, which you totally could have done, considering the target audience.
Seriously, go see this movie. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.

Movie Reviews: I Am Number Four

I Am Number Four:

Terrible plot, worse acting. I actually had to get up in the middle and leave for a few moments because it was SO bad. I went to the bathroom and texted everyone I knew to warn them away from this motion picture horror. 

Bottom line: if you're drunk, and someone else is paying, you can Redbox it. Just be drunk enough not to remember it the next day or you may want to poke your eyes out with a sharp stick. I get the feeling the book is better. It can't be worse. 

Movie Reviews: The King's Speech

The King's Speech

I saw the PG-13 version in which some F bombs were omitted. 

I saw this movie without The Hubs, because he categorically refused to see it with me. His loss, because this movie was AWESOME.

 I love Colin Firth. Not only is he an excellent actor, but because hello, I have two X chromosomes and he's a fine representation of the male specimen. <fans self> This movie ALSO had Jennifer Ehle, and if I could have changed one thing in the movie, it would be to have Jennifer play the Queen opposite Collin, instead of the wife of the speech therapist. There's no such thing as too much Jennifer Ehle in any movie. (WHY she hasn't been in much I can stand to watch since Pride and Prejudice I'll never know, but for your own Sanity, never rent Chamomile Lawn. I turned it off 10 minutes in.)

 

(see? even the stars use Glamor Shots)

This movie instantly connected you to it's characters, was solid in all it's acting and dialog, had plenty of moments in which to laugh if you're paying attention, and gave a supremely uplifting message: if you try hard enough, you can overcome most anything. 

Bottom Line: If you don't care about ratings or can find it in PG-13, it's worth owning, and not just because Collin's in it. I would put it in my collection next to Sea Biscuit. 

Movie Reviews: HANNA

 HANNA
Hanna is movie about a girl who is trained from birth to be a killer. There is quite a lot of imagery and generalized angst and suspense. It would have been a great show...if they'd done the ending a tad differently. And maybe skipped the part with the nice guy hanging upside down, shot through with several arrows. I can't say more without giving away the entire plot.

The new girl, Saoirse Ronan does a great job, as does Kate Blanchett. The acting is not the weak part of this film, it's all plot. It tries to be Borne Identity but it doesn't have Robert Ludlum to develop the story line.  They did do a really nice job with over-the-top and in-your-face imagery, though. The circular ice flow at the beginning kinda gives away the ending. Just say'n. Obvious from the start, even though you spend the entire movie hoping for a different outcome.
Bottom Line:2 1/2 stars. Wait for it to show up in NetFlix Instant Play.

Megamind: The Review

Last night for family night we took the kids to The Dollars and watched Megamind. Since it's at The Dollars, 9 of my 10 readers have probably already seen it, but just in case, here's the lo-down for that one remaining person who was waiting to Redbox it.

CONS:

(You know it's not good if I have to start with the cons, right?)

• They say "butt" at least twice. We are fighting an uphill battle with The Boy and the word butt. Major con.
• One dimensional  plot. I kept waiting for some kind of adult subplot to evolve and keep me company. You know, like Sesame Street.
• The commercials and trailers have all the best parts.
• The main character is a bad guy, which meant we had to actually TALK to our kids about the movie. What a pain. 
• The hero has no neck. I'm sorry, but that's just WRONG. 

PROS:

• Animated
• The voicing is just stellar. Both the protagonist and antagonist's voicing is VERY well done. It may be the only way I can stand Will Ferrell is in voice-overs. Tina Fey is good, but her voicing just isn't as good as Will's and Brad's.
• The hero's name is Metro Man. Think about it. 

After the movie we saw the police incident command vehicle and the old-timey fire truck in front of the mall, so we walked over to investigate and get the kids a sticker. It turns out Ruby Tuesday's was donating all tips that night to fallen firefighters/policemen. Since we were on our way to grab a pizza anyway, we just went inside to eat. Next year, I'll just send a check.
Even when eating with my grandparent's in the assisted living home, the food tasted better. That's right, I just said Spurkey (spammed turkey) is better than Ruby Tuesdays. Make a note.