Mommy Olympics: Training for the Shower Event

This morning I succeeded in completing a training session for the Shower Event of the Mommy Olympics. Let me tell you, even though nobody rewards Mommy Olympians, I earned a Gold Medal...and possibly a nap. Here's how it went down:

4am Child 3 wakes up, nurses and gets clean britches and goes back down.
5am, 6am,6:30am, repeat 4am routine minus the diaper change.
6:30, 1 and 2 wake up and climb into bed with mommy and daddy. This is when the real training begins.
6:40 make oatmeal for the family, bolt my bowl so that I can maybe sneak away while the kids finish and 3 is still happy, for a five minute shower.
6:50, put bowl in the sink, stand up to walk to bathroom. Cue fussing baby.
6:50-7:30 put baby back to sleep, stand up to walk into the bathroom
7:31 1 and 2 start to fight. Loudly.
7:31:10 3 wakes up (because who can sleep through World War III?).
7:32 give up on the binky being enough to put 3 back to sleep, lay down and nurse yet again
7:45 3 is down, I stand up to walk into the bathroom, 2 slams a door--repeatedly, 3 wakes up screaming bloody murder
7:58 lay back down with 3
8:25 give up on baby sleeping
8:27 3 falls asleep while I walk around with her in my arms, picking up the battle field from 7:31
8:30 put 3 down and crawl to the bathroom in hopes that sneaking there on a different plane would lead to different results
8:31 I managed to get my nightie off before 1 starts banging on my bedroom door. Loudly. Which leads to
8:32 3 waking up, more irate than ever. I kinda get how she feels.
8:34 lay back down with baby.
9:00 start once again for the bathroom at which time 1 and 2 start banging on the wall that separates the toy room and my bedroom where, you guessed it, 3 is attempting to complete her morning nap
9:00:20 a brilliant idea occurs to me. I'll get the egg timer, the children, and some story books and put them on the couches (one per child) set the egg timer for 5 minutes and FORBID anyone from making a peep or moving until the timer goes off.
9:01 hunt for timer
9:02 give up looking for timer. It's not where I've left it, therefore I've been kiddified.
9:03 send 1 and 2 to their room. Lock the door from the outside. Take shower. Shave BOTH legs.

GOLD MEDAL.