Alexander Kind of Day

You know the book, Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day?

That, but for moms.

I was going to give you a blow by blow, and then I was going to do bullets, but both were too depressing so instead I'll just tell you how my day ended.

I dropped off (underdone but dried out) dinner to a friend who'd JUST had a baby. I dropped it off in my frumpy clothes and ball cap.
My friend had her hair and makeup done, her kids were neat (all of them) AND her house was clean. Not just the front room, THE WHOLE THING.

I had just come from my kitchen counter covered in dinner making muck, kitchen table and chairs covered in Zsa Zsa muck, and newly steamed kitchen floor covered in apricot muck tracked about by kids who don't even belong to me. My whole house looks like goblins live here, because if we're being totally honest, two of them do. It stinks like pee regardless of the fact I just steamed all the floors in an attempt to erase the smell. It's a good thing we don't have a dog, or I'd have kicked it. I think there are laws about kicking you children, though, and they are the only other possible source. I can pretty much guarantee neither The Hubs nor I would choose squatting in a corner over the porcelain throne.

Clearly, I'm failing at life. I'd go stick my head in the oven, but it's not currently working. I'd probably just end up giving myself a tan. (See above statement about dinner)