Fashion Stuff I Don't Get

I know that I'm old and for the most part leave the house wearing old tee shirts and no makeup and that I rarely do my hair.
But I can still tell what's hip, fashionable and what's SO last season.

Which is why I need somebody to PLEASE tell me what I'm missing with the following trends?

1. Chevron EVERYTHING: rugs, mugs, fabric, wall paint design. Seriously? A Chevron is a military insignia or a gas station, not a fashion statement.

2. Non edible items that look like sushi. Maybe I would understand this more if I liked something sushi-ish besides California rolls, but Dudes, man mastered fire and the 90 second Electrolux boil which means meat can (and should) now be COOKED!

(this is a sushi pillow)

(This seemingly edible child is just wrong on so  many levels. 

Also, what does a banana have to do with sushi?)

I get it with bacon, though. Non edible plush bacon is just cute!

see?

To sum up:

Wrong

Right. 

3. Crafts using paint chips. Seriously? 

And those are my fashion quandaries for September, 2011.
(images courtesy of Pinterest and ThinkGeek.com)

PS For the record, I'm very on board with steam punk. In fact, I've thought it was cool since at least 2008 so clearly, I'm trending WAY before the curve. ;)