Math

I am scared of Math.

When I say scared, I mean right before my first math test this semester I had a full-on panic attack. 

I don't DO panic attacks.

And yet, there I was panicking. 

I blame Third Grade.

In third grade one is supposed to learn one's multiplication tables. 

I did not.

And then I didn't learn fractions 

and it snowballed from there.

So I find myself nearly, well, old

and back in school learning math all over again.

At some point I did manage to learn multiplication tables and fractions and algebra...

BUT

(and that's the very largest "but" I could make, which is significant)

I'm still scared of math.

Which brings us to today.

I had math class today. We started a new concept. 

I was not good at this concept.

My teacher made me feel about two nanometers tall.

He made me feel stupid.

He made me feel insignificant. 

And then I took a math test.

Today sucked.

Dear Coach (that's my math teacher),

I am NOT dumb. I am brilliant. My IQ is 132. (yes, really.)

I am smarter than 98.4% of EVERYONE. *

I am funny and kind and gosh darn it, people like me (well, not my family, but people generally).

Why don't you?

I feel JUST this big after today. 

*(Not that I place a lot of value on IQ tests because some of the most brilliant minds EVER would fail a stupid IQ test, and it also doesn't measure the most important thing: courage. All they really prove is that you're good at taking tests, just trying to prove a point here.)