Then I started reading labels. Did you know that Lenders Bagels contain High Fructose Corn Syrup? As the THIRD ingredient? Also, their dough conditioner is derived from...chicken feathers. Yes, chicken feathers.
Ew. Ew. EW.
So I kept looking. Finally I landed upon a reasonably healthy bagel, which of COURSE cost over $4 for 5.
I brought them home and made dinner. Then I went to class. (Stay with me, the theft part is coming.) The Hubs took The Children to the park. The Momma and The Sister were both gone, so The Hubs left the back door unlocked as a way to re-enter the house when they were done at the park.
The next morning, I went to fix bagels and shmear for breakfast and noticed...dum dum dum...that two bagels were MISSING!
The Momma and The Sister had not eaten them. The Hubs and The Children hadn't seen them. Had I eaten them in my sleep? No, of course not. I sleep, in my sleep.
The plot thickens.
Who has DONE this horrible thing; eaten The Boy's über expensive bagel? How cruel, you say! And you are right, dear reader, you are right. It is a most terrible plight.
I accused The Sister. You know, the HONEST one, of eating not one, but TWO bagels.
A day went by and then in dawned on me.
It was THE OTHER sister! The one who lives across town and occasionally drops in to mooch food.
When asked, she freely admitted to taking the food, quite literally, from my child's mouth. And she returned one of the ill-gotten bagels. The other had already been consumed. Sad day. She also offered to give me 50 cents. Which I refused. Because I am charitable. Which is why I'm writing this post. Really.