One Upping: A Funny Story

Friday I found a $5 variable speed Black & Decker Sander. {Choirs of Angels Singing the Glory of My Craigslist Prowess}. On the way to pick up this little treasure, we ran a few errands. One of which consisted of picking up a pizza and taking it to the park so our hungry children could eat dinner and quit whining in the back seat.
At the park, we were, eh hem, privileged to meet some future stars of the MTV hit show, Jackass. One in particular stood out. This young man was really something. I'm guessing he's about 8 and we shall call him Scooter, because obviously his parents didn't care enough about him to give him a real name...or any child-rearing-ness.

Dear, sweet Scooter was playing the One-Up Game with a 6 year old I'm calling Reginald, because he was the less obnoxious pre-pre-teen.  This game consisted of  Bud saying something completely ridiculous like, "I'm the Neighborhood Champion of Skateboarders. I won by going down these stairs!" Then Reginald would say, "Well, my friend, Suzy Q, is the best! She did jumps from HERE! (pointing to the very top of a play structure pole). Then our little TV starlette wannabe would prove his skillz by (badly) performing a "trick".
Truly, it was hilarious.  The hubris was so thick, I nearly choked on it as I tried mightily to contain my mirth.
The best bit was when Scooter attempted a "trick" he just couldn't manage and introduced his face to the concrete. At that point, there really was no way to stop the laughter. It was guffaw, or die. And by die, I mean soil myself.
Needless to say, there's a reason I don't watch Jackass on television. It's much better live.