Feb 16, 2011

Um...and Shopping with Zsa Zsa

I re-read my post from yesterday. Can we just all agree that I should NOT post ANYTHING
when I'm hormonal?
Moving On...

Today I took Zsa Zsa with me to Wal Mart. Oh, just the one kid? you're thinking. Yeah. Just the one. Thing is, she forgot to nap today. Some kids get whiny, other kids get sleepy or clingy. Not my daughter. Skipping a nap for her is the equivalent of downing a box of no-doze, four Red Bulls and a couple hits of speed. That kid was WIRED.
Example: In the Wilton cake decorating area, she found the ONLY container of food color gel that happened to have product on the outside of the container. Before I had time to scream "NO!" and move, 1/2 speed movie-style, she had it all over both hands, her face AND her dress. Did I mention it was Red?

After cleaning up that little treasure, I tried to get her to ride in the cart. This is OK, as long as you have one hand on her head, holding her down at all times. If not, she thinks it's a GREAT idea to stand up and launch herself head-long in your general direction, whether or not you happen to be looking, or even facing her. OBVIOUSLY the Mommy will catch her. We caused no less than 4 snow bird heart attacks, but don't worry. She never once hit the ground.

At that point, due to the rapidly escalating need for EMS and cardio paddles, I figured it was safer to let her walk. The trouble is, I take my offspring to The Children's Museum on a regular basis. The same museum that has a very realistic child-sized grocery store in which the children are encouraged to role-play. How did I not see this would translate into my daughter thinking it would be OK to "help" me shop? Daughter. Daddy does NOT need those Depends...or the Ben Gay.

When she got done helping me shop, her new idea of fun was to run the entire length of the isle, make the turn going full tilt, and then peak her head back around the isle to see what was taking me so long. Remember that Red Bull and speed? Yeah. THEN she started to take off fast so she could run in front of oncoming old people's carts, the ones EMS didn't already cart off for Advanced Life Support, stick her hand out like a traffic cop, and smile charmingly. The snowbirds all thought this was adorable. The few people who actually had anywhere else to be that day were less amused.

My daughter displayed every indication of needing Valium, but all she REALLY needed was a nap. Too bad Wal Mart doesn't carry Valiums or naps, because I could use one of each about now. I guess it's a good thing they do carry No-Doze and Red Bull.  

This amusing anecdote has been brought to you by: IdahoBecky.

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