Mar 31, 2011

Chill, Baby. Just Chill.

News Flash: Summer is almost here. For those of you living in Arizona, you know what this means; all the old people are (finally) leaving and we can navigate Costco without being run over by a Jazzy.Jazzy 1170 XL Plus

Also, it's about to get very, very hot. 
Because I love y'all, I've compiled a list of creative and innovative ways to stay cool when you just can't ask any more of your A/C unit(s).

  1. Clean your refrigerator. I know you're thinking I've confused this list with a list of things to do before your in-laws come to dinner, but I'm totally serious. It's 4pm and you just can't take the heat anymore. Because it's only 4pm, the heat index still has 5-10 degrees before apex and surely, you will melt before then. What better way to beat the heat than to stand in your open fridge and wipe that crusty spot under the milk carton? For an added level of fun, you can open the Tupperware that's been lurking on the back shelf since 1983, back when people actually bought Tupperware™. 
  2. If it's really hot, say late July, your pregnant AND we've had a record high, you could defrost your deep freeze. Give the kids the Popsicles you bought last year and forgot about, because lets be honest, how often do you make it to the bottom of the deep freeze? Cook up the steaks on top and move everything else to an ice chest. When the deep freeze is nice and empty, unplug that bad boy and just crawl inside. The unit will be defrosted in no time, owing the heat emanating from your slightly charred, Arizona-in-July-body. 
  3. A list can be two things! Quit being greedy. I've got to save some of my innovative ideas for the patent office. 
If neither of those things does it for you, here are some more normal ways to stay cool during the Arizona Summer: 

  1. Make friends with lots of nice people who happen to have pools in their backyards
  2. Take a nap on the tile floor
  3. Get some more fans, turn them on
  4. Eat Popsicles
  5. Or ice
  6. Or ice cream
  7. Or frozen steak 
  8. Move to somewhere that is not Arizona. 
We tried #8 last summer, and not only did we escape Arizona in July, I got educated, as well. Talk about your win/win. The only downside was the city pool was so cold during swimming lessons, the kids turned blue half way through the lesson. Wait, did I just say a cold pool was a down side????
This post has been brought to you by: A very hot IdahoBecky.


melissa said...

Although it doesn't compare to the AZ heat, I grew up in Northern CA where it gets plenty hot during the summer months, too. As a kid, I learned a trick from my mom, who learned it from my aunt. She would soak her shirt in cold water, then ring it out mostly and put it on while cleaning the house. With fans and/or a/c running, hanging out in a wet shirt can really help cool you down. When it gets too dry, just re-wet it. I've used that trick plenty of times when we were living in AZ, especially when I was gigantically pregnant during the summer. Works like a charm. The only real drawback is, it looks pretty weird if someone just drops by and you're caught wearing a soaking wet t-shirt in the middle of the day. But, then again, it is Arizona we're talking about, so just about anything goes during the scorching summer months and we've all learned to not judge. I mean, you're so busy trying to not melt away, who has time to judge anyway?

Diane Arnett Gardiner said...

OH BABY I HEAR YA! I've been putting black-out on all of the curtains upstairs and Monte's put on the summer screens already. HELP!