Visiting the Doctor 2.0

Since I've started subscribing to my friend Sandy's approach of only seeing the doctor if you have at least three things wrong with you, I've really saved a lot of money.
The thing is, if at least three things are wrong with you, one of them is pretty much guaranteed to be something that needs further attention.
So I finally had three things on my list. This is what it looked like.

1. Face rash for the last two or so months.
2. Low HDL levels. 
3. Check drawer reflex on repaired ankle.

     3.  Funny lump on my bum.

Let's take them in order.

1. It's a fungus. Seriously. I have MUSHROOMS growing on my face. Also, the cream I was putting it on it (prescription stuff for the kids' eczema) is the exact wrong thing to use. Oops. 
2. Who knows about this one. He's sending me to get my liver function checked, it's probably nothing. (Your liver is where you make "good" or HDL cholesterol)
3. This is the thing I'm least excited to talk about. Honestly, do you talk about YOUR bum on the internet? Yeah. I didn't think so. I may tell you about it later. I just can't right now. 

I wasn't even going to mention that last thing to the doctor, because hello. If you say something like that, they're going to want to LOOK at it. Doctors are funny that way. My mom looked it at last night, and she thought I ought to get it checked (isn't that what SHE was doing?), so I changed the third thing on my list. Now I have an appointment with a specialist for next week.

When my doctor told me I needed to "get that checked out", I knew JUST who to call. Dr. K. He took care of my dad.
I also knew I needed to make the appointment in person.
When I got there, the receptionist told me the doctor wasn't taking new patients.
I said, "That's nice. He'll see me."
She started to go through the riga-ma-roll about getting my info and having to ask the nurse yada yada
Guess who walked in right then?
Dr. K.
I asked about his kids, he asked me what a young(ish) healthy lady like me could be doing in his office.
I told him.
He got this soupy sad look in his eyes (everyone does when they think about my dad) and said of COURSE he'd take me as a patient (told you so) and so that's it.
I guess I'll let you know what he says Monday.