May 7, 2008

House Work

Today we painted the garage door. By "we" I mean "I".
It's amazing how much better it looks. The rain held off until nearly midnight, so I think it had enough time to dry. Sam only dipped his hands in the paint once (which I label a success).
Tomorrow a young couple is coming to look at the house. We are crossing our fingers and praying that they like the house and that they BUY IT. Our Arizona house closes tomorrow.
Also tomorrow we are painting the porch railing. Working on that curb appeal thing everyone talks about.

You know, I don't really feel pregnant, other than I want to eat everything in sight and sleep all day, but other than that...Matt says its real for him now. I think it could be because I've started asking for corn dogs again. Maybe the baby is a boy. :( I need to keep thinking pink thoughts. I hear that works.

Really looking forward to graduation Saturday. I would ask Matt if I can skip it and stay home to sleep, but I think that would hurt his feelings. Plus, I would have to keep Sam and then there would be no actual sleep, since Sam no longer believes in Mommy Naps. Seriously though, and I am so happy for Matt and ready for this phase of our lives to be over. I was starting to get comfortable in the perpetual student mode.

May 5, 2008


OK, so maybe I don't want to move. Tonight we had a bon fire in the backyard. You can't do that in Arizona. Ever.
I will miss my friends, I will miss my baby doctor, and mostly, I will miss my mom.
I can't help thinking that my momma needs us more than Matt's momma. After all, my mom will only have two kids in town after this summer, and one of them will be busy being a newlywed.
See? My momma does need us more.

But then I go back to how easy it was for Matt to get this job. Nobody gets a job that easy without divine intervention.
Maybe I should move home, and Matt can go to AZ by himself. I can learn to fly planes and make lots of visits. Especially in the winter.
It's weird, but the older I get, the less I want to be away from my mom. I thought it was supposed to work the other way around? When I was 18, I couldn't wait to get the heck out of town, but that wasn't so much a drive to get away from family as it was a drive to prove I could do life on my own. Now I know better; nobody does life alone. We're not supposed to operate that way.
I know my place is with Matt, I just don't like it when what's right feels wrong in my heart.
Usually I'm the one gunning for change, but I can tell my heart isn't in it because I did not pack one single thing this entire day, and I only have a week left to get it all done.
I'm going to blame it on being so tired from growing a baby, and not on being morose.

If I'm totally honest, I'm also nervous about living so close to Matt's family. They've all been together for ages and have each other figured out. It feels like moving to a new school half way through the year. Matt says this is part his fault because his family doesn't really know who he is, so they have a hard time figuring me out. I think it's just because I'm so weird

I will like some things about moving: Being near Christina, and Di and Steph, fresh citrus, NO FREAKING SNOW, excellent ethnic dining, meeting new people and making new friends, having a real paycheck with an actual salary and being able to do fun things with it on occasion, family babysitters we can trust, fixing up a new house-we've done about all that can be done to this one without major structural changes.
OK, so now that you know how I really feel, what do you think?