Toddler-isms Version 1.2

"I flying my airplane legs!" (laying on his back with legs in the air)

"I dump you over mom!" Said after he plowed into me to give me a hug. We both ended up perpendicular to the ground. It's now a game.

"A good day, NOT a bad day, Mom."

"Bugs in my bum!" (aka stinky diaper)

"I go pee in the potty! I get a STICKER! Two stickers Mom?" (nope, only 1 for pee)

"Love you, Super Bear" said the mommy, with a catch in her throat.

Real Men Are Covered In Baby Boogers

This is DH's first week of working from home (internal dance of joy commencing...now).
For the last two day's DH has worn black geek shirts (because he can).
Our daughter has had a cold, for like, six months. I'm always covered in snot, nothing new there. If I make it ANYWHERE snot-free, it's considered an act of God by certain churches. Seriously.
So anyway, DH has been covered in snot the last couple days. Do you know what this means? It means every time our little distraction walks into the office/bedroom, he picks her up and hugs her.
Real men are covered in baby boogers. And it's hot.

Nativity Reenactment

Tonight was THE ANNUAL FAMILY NATIVITY REENACTMENT.

It's kind of a huge deal. That's why it's in CAPS.

Can I say that my angel and shepherd are the cutest two in the bunch? I can? OK. My children are beautiful.

Sorry this first one is so washed out. I took it outside at night with the iPhone. Oh, and I don't have photo editing software. (Any suggestions, Beka?)

S calls V "Baby Angel" whenever I put her in a fluffy dress. Tonight she really was an Angel. She even acted like one! I need to start dressing her in white more often...

.

And here's my Shepherd. I asked for a smile, what I got was a kiss...or fish lips. You decide.

The Terrible Turkey Travesty

I didn't have to make a turkey this year, but I wanted to. At least, I thought I wanted to when I was at the store and saw a really pretty one. It was early in the day, and my kids were acting like angels AND it was on sale for uber cheap. So I bought it, manhandled all 28 pounds of it and two kids into the house, and then it sat in the fridge for five days "de-frosting". (Yep.) Having only ever made one (very dry) turkey, I read and read and read and finally decided to try brining. Back to the store for brine ingredients. I "forgot" about it one more day, and finally at 9:30 the following night I brewed a delicious brine. This is going somewhere, stay with me.
My fridge wasn't big enough for turkey and brine, so BACK to the store for ice, so I could turn an ice chest into the turkey's second-to-last-final-resting-place. Three stores later (they all closed at 10 you see) I had my ice and was headed home. The brine wasn't cool enough for the turkey, so I put my book-editing husband in charge. This was our conversation:
"Look at my eyes so I know you are listening".
"I'm looking. What can I do for you, love of my life? Angel of our home? Goddess of domecisity?" (It's my story, I'll tell it any way I want)
"This is a turkey. It is cleaned and ready to be brined. This is brine. (picture me pointing) This is a brining bag. I'm putting the turkey in the brining bag for you."
"Thank you, most wonderful mother of my children. What am I to do next?"
Right before you go to bed, please pour the brine over the turkey and tie a knot in the bag. Shake it and then place it in the ice chest with the ice."
"OK." (that part is actually verbatim)
Scene fades out, next we see the happy couple waking up with the alarm.
"How did brining the turkey go? Everything fit in the ice chest?"
"Oh shoot."
"I can't, I don't have a gun. The turkey is still in the sink, isn't it."
"Yep."
And so the final resting place of what was to be the most magnificent bird in all post-Thanksgiving history ended up in the trash.
The End.

Hiking With Babies

Saturday was a perfect hiking day. Overcast with a slight breeze and temperatures in the high 60's.
As the title may suggest, the parents over-estimated their parental powers and supposed they could take a one and two-year-old on a reasonable 3 mile hike. The parents are idiots. 

There's a super-cool hike not far from us that ends, we are told, in a geological formation covered in Native American Hieroglyphics. I cannot confirm this report as we didn't get anywhere near close enough to tell. We borrowed a backpack for hauling S (thanks Stina) and put V in the baby wrap, and headed out. DH and I thought we timed it so the baby would fall asleep while we walked. We are, as I previously stated, idiots. After three different wrap-carries and liberal use of both pacifier and bum patting, we ended up just carrying the baby in our arms. Further complicating things was the toddler who kept saying, "I want down, Dad. I get out now. Go on ground!" And then, "Carry me!" Yep. So not even half way to our destination, we turned around carrying both kids and the kid backpack.
Ah, the lessons of parenthood. I learned if you want a good upper body workout AND cardio at the same time, take your babies on a hike. :) Oh, and take along some ear plugs!
DH and I have plans to return sans kids later in the week. Hopefully I'll have some cool pictures then.

Pretty Birthday Girl

My BABY is ONE. I'm not real sure how I feel about this. A little nervous, a little excited. But there's this strange tick-tocking noise coming from somewhere. Can you take the batteries out of your biological clock? I would really like to get both S and V potty-trained before tackling what are, historically, nasty pregnancies. Oh yeah, and finish my degree so I can go to work had have decent health coverage. Details.

I thought it would be nice to open some presents the night before, so Grandma could watch via web cam. The next day was already going to be a crazy zoo with family and yet more presents, so we had a nice little family moment...which S promptly ruined by "helping" to unwrap the presents and stealing all the toys. Ah, two-year-olds.

V has a pathological obsession with climbing onto things. Here she's climbed onto her present before opening it. Because, you know, it's easier to open something when you're sitting on it.














Opening the present she's sitting on...














Here's *most* of the loot. A pretty good haul for a first birthday!

TRAINS! TRAINS! TRAINS!

 








is in love with trains. After much investigation and debate, we decided the option that would have the least economic impact on our family was to ride the light rail. ($7 for both parents, kids ride free.) This is S waiting waiting for the train.

Here it comes! "I see it Mom!"

First look on board. Do you suppose it's what he expected?

The DH and wonderkins after the ride.
S is watching me write this post and is making "train" noises. "OOH OOH!"

Angsty Motherhood

Angst is: Nursing the baby to sleep and being ALMOST THERE, when the 2-year-old you've been begging and bribing through toilet training announces loudly from the next room, "I go potty Momma! Use my froggy! PLEASE!" Oh the dilemmas of motherhood. What's a mommy to do? Stop nursing and give up that precious 20 minute early morning nap, or ignore the toddler who, for once, is excited about using his potty?

What would YOU have done?

New Job

So the DH realized (finally) that he was being GROSSLY underpaid. His current company didn't feel the need to do anything about it, so M went out and got himself a shiny new job at close to double his current salary. Yep. That's not even the best part.

The best part is, he gets to work from H-O-M-E.

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

Can anyone say free babysitting?? (Only during naps, of course. Who wants to go to lunch?)

We are busy re-arranging furniture to give him a space to work. It's probably going to be in the bedroom, but I'll just switch my nap location to the couch. No big. You know, for the one day a month I feel ahead of the game enough to relax.

In other news, I'm going back to school to finish my RN. The up-in-the-air part of that is WHERE. I'm rooting for Idaho...Since M can work from anywhere...

Toddler-isms

Are you shocked to hear from me? I know. I'm shocked to be posting.

Here are some of my cute S conversations.

Right after naps, he knocks on the door and says, "Hellllooo! I in here! Where you? Mom? Come get me? I IN HERE!" (Like I forgot where I put him.)

After finding an old(er) milk sippy, "UK! Mom! It's POOP in my mouth!"

Pretty much all the time when we ask him to quit whatever mischief he's currently up to OR when his sister is anywhere near him, "Stop do that!"

What he calls his sister, "baby". She's a year old, and he still can't say her name. That's funny.

Kids Update

V has discovered rolling as a form of transportation. It's an interesting experience to one day put the baby down on the floor, turn around for a second and go to pick the baby up again only to find her across the room. She's sleeping so well since she's started to move more! V hasn't quite got the hang of sitting, but she IS catterpillering across the floor in addition to rolling. I imagine she'll be crawling by mid-June. She's six months and 1 day old.

S has be so cranky lately. He's always cranky when he's sick. He does have his good moments. I fixed his breakfast one day last week, sat him down to eat and was leaving the room when I hear him say his own prayer. It was SO sweet. "Hebbenly Fadder. Dank you for meal. Dank you Mommy and my daddy, name of Jeesthus Crist, AMEN!" He also says another prayer for seconds. 

He likes going to splash pads. Aunt Di took him this last Saturday to a splash pad, and they both had a blast. He's also likes going ANYWHERE.  He tells me all the time, "Go Bye Bye Momma!" "Go Car!" Most of the time he doesn't like where I choose to go, though.  Also, he thinks he can drive. EVERYTIME we go out to the car he says, "I drive Momma!" I finally had to show him my driver's license and explain about that. I figured it was equally useless to tell him his feet wouldn't reach the pedals and this seemed safer. Somehow explaining that the pedals DID something seemed like a bad idea. 

DH and I are just the same as always. Daily grind and all that. The only thing new and mildly interesting is that I'm planning to decorate Matt's office in the next week or two. Yippy.

18lbs

So, 18 pounds and 14.75 inches of me are gone. And I'm sorta done with this whole diet and exercise thing. Anybody want to talk me back into it? 

I don't know what is going on in my head that this kind of success is being met with apathy and resistance, but there it is.

Maybe because I've been thinner, maybe because I'm scared of gaining it all back again, maybe there's something deeper going on here. I don't know.

I got my wedding ring back on, and that was a huge deal for me. Now I don't have anything except numbers on a scale/measuring tape to work toward. I've been counceled against buying smaller clothing as a motivator, however tempting.

Free psychoanalysis is welcome. It's fairly obvious I'm a nut job.

I've decided to stick it out until we go to Disneyland at the end of the month, and then re-evaluate. 

Thoughts? 

Growing

Viv is turning over! It's fun for us, but SHE thinks it's terrible.

In other news, Sam now thinks body noises are funny. Oh well. This too, can be overcome.

IT'S NOT YOUR MONEY

Well, I don't know if anyone else is as ticked at congress as I am, but I've had enough so DH and I are ready to do something. We'd like to attend a tea party here in AZ, but it's looking like we might have to throw our own. 

We're tired of feeling voiceless, powerless, meaningless.

We're also tired of watching our grandbabies' tax dollars being spent, and we sure as heck don't want anyone to go off the dollar, because that would really suck. 
So, who's with us?

Anybody else ready to be heard?

Insanity

It's official, I'm insane. Today in the checkout line I saw a running magazine. I bought the magazine. I know. I'm completely off my rocker, and yet, I actually LIKE running. I don't 30 miles a week like it, but I 12 miles a week like it, and maybe once I'm moving less mass, I'll work up to 30 miles liking it. 

The magazine is more for marathon runners and hard-core ultramarathoners, I didn't even know there was such a thing as "ultra" marathons, but there you go. I'm more a 5k'er myself... 

Still, there were a few helpful tips and pointers.

 

Pay It Forward

Pay it forward!

I saw this idea the other day and I thought it would be fun to do, so here we go!!

The first five people to respond to this post will get something made by me!

My choice. For you.

This offer does have some restrictions and limitations:

1 - I make no guarantees that you will like what I make!
2 - What I create will be just for you.
3 - It'll be done this year (might take a little while).
4 - You have no clue what it's going to be. It may be a story. It may be poetry or an article. I may crochet or quilt something. I may bake you something and mail it to you. Who knows? Not you, that's for sure!
5 - I reserve the right to do something extremely strange.

The catch?
Oh, the catch is that you must repost this on your blog and offer the same to the first 5 people who do the same. The first 5 people to do so and leave a comment telling me they did win a FAB-U-LOUS homemade gift by me!

Oh, and be sure to post a picture of what you win when you get it! Good luck!
One last thing..... I actually have to KNOW your in real life, so no blog stalkers please!!

Tofu Pudding

So I tried making chocolate pudding. This is what I did.

1 pkg silken tofu

1/4 C Cocoa Powder

1/4 C Agave

Blend in a food processor. 

It was gross. I think if I had used a little less cocoa powder and a different sweetener (like actual sugar) it would have been better. I will try again and keep you updated. :)

8 Inches

So I told you I'm working with a trainer?
In two weeks I'm down 8 inches and in a smaller size of jeans, which is really good, because of the 4 sizes of clothes I own, those where my biggest, and they were starting to wear out...

I can't actually see the difference yet, but Matt says he can... (what a sweety)

Yay Me!

I can't wait to get rid of the next 8 inches and buy me some new duds...starting with nursing bras that fit!

Lonely

I am so lonely. I walk with two differnt groups from my ward, three times a week in the morning and three or four times a week at night and the ladies never talk to me, they talk around me, or through me and ignore me when I contribute to the conversation. I've joined every flipping group our Relief Society has and I go to every activity and I'm still so loney. Poor Christina is my only adult conversation besides my DH and I rely far to heavily on her. Really a person needs more than one friend. What if they suddenly die? (Sorry Stina) I've invited people over, I've called folks on the phone to chat, I think I'm giving up on my ward.

Perhaps I'm hormonal, perhaps I'm delusional, but really I think I'm just lonely...

I miss my old ward and I'm way to far away from my Mommy. 

Personal Trainer

So, I got myself a personal trainer. Yeah, I know. But I have a high school reunion this summer...

It's going well so far...I started yesterday, but so far...

M is handling it well. He said he liked the way I made chicken tonight. What a sport! He's even willing to try fish, and if you know my DH you know that's a HUGE consession. 

Seriously, in Heaven we had better be able to eat cake and not blimp out, otherwise I'm going to be one of those fat angels, because I'm not giving up food that tastes good for eternity. Only until after the high school reunion.

Works In Progress

In this post I'm going to blatantly and shamelessly steal/copy my cousin Beka's idea and show you pictures of stuff I'm working on currently.

But first, the kid-os!

This is V at 9 weeks. The smile is an accident, but a happy one. S is 23 months, if you can believe.  I find it hard to believe my baby is that old. I know he's not really my baby anymore, since V is younger, but he's still my baby in my head. Sometimes I remember to call him a kid... Those three years until kindergarten are going to FLY.

This is a stool I painted for Sammy. It has a lion on it. When he sees it, he calls it a lion, but only I know that's what he's saying. It's a mom thing.

This is a dress front I'm smocking for V. It's basically connect the dots with fabric and embroidery floss. Very easy as long as you keep track of your thread being "on top" or  "on

 bottom".

Last week I attempted to make bagels. I say attempted because these aren't really Einstein Bagel quality, but they were OK. Next time I will try a different recipe.

You may ask why I didn't simply go to Einstein's and purchase a bagel, if I wanted one so badly. The answer, my inquisitive friends, is Einstein's uses bleached flour and I'm attempting to only put good things in my body. (You should, however, know that I'm eating chocolate ice cream while I type. My husband is an enabler. A cute enabler, but an enabler none the less.)

Out of Control

So this morning S got up before 6. Dad made him oatmeal and then "ogourt". After that he ate my breakfast at 9, and then ANOTHER meal at 10:30.
It's official, S is a Hobbit. (Have you seen his feet lately? Suspiciously hairy...)

A Resolution...

My New Year's Resolution is to not eat anything I can't pronounce. Basically we're talking no preservatives, artificial dyes, etc. The end goal is, of course, to be more healthy. I'm feeling GREAT, but the scale isn't budging. At least, it's not budging in the right direction (that would be DOWN).
I've started making all our bread and rolls etc. from grains I grind myself. We're on the verge of being vegetarians and I haven't seen a drive-thru in I don't know how long. I KNOW my caloric intake is lower than it's been in a long time, but alas! I thought that, combined with the nursing and the exercising, SOMETHING would start to happen. I even started taking these colon cleanse tablets. I think by body is broken. Thoughts? Do you think my scale could be broken? I DO have a two year old who likes buttons...

Trip to Idaho

Well, it seems there's never any time to sit down and type without a toddler trying to "help" or a baby crying for attention. Matt went to bed early tonight and by some miracle both babies are asleep, so I'll do my best to catch up.

S flew home with my mom after Christmas. V and I drove up to meet them at Mom's in Idaho. It took us 15 hours to get to Spanish Fork, because it turns out, when you are traveling with a newborn, every time you stop, you spend about 40 minutes doing baby things. And newborns need to stop about every two hours. In a way, it was nice just the two of us were in the car because we could take our time and I didn't feel rushed.

The visit in Idaho was good. I learned how to smock and am making a cute green gingham dress for V. My Other Mother had surgery while we were in town, then the next day her hubby fell and broke his ankle, requiring surgery that day, and the day after THAT, their daughter had surgery. My thoughts and prayers have been with them the last week. Hopefully they will all get better quickly.

S is growing up fast. His new favorite thing is bubbles. He's positively obsessed. Luckily, bubbles are cheap. :) He also REALLY likes helping mom in the kitchen. He learned a new word this week: dough. Mom learned that you can't leave the step-stool in the kitchen while you nurse the baby when there's dough on the counter. It wasn't pretty.

V is growing so fast. I don't remember Sam growing this fast. She's only getting up once at night, and she sleeps the first part of the night by herself, so that's nice. I confess that I also like when she sleeps with me, but the sleep is better for me when she's not in the bed. Come to think of it, I also sleep better when M isn't in the bed with me. He's started to snore in his old age. ;)