The Post Wherein I Insult People of Nominal Intelligence and Large Bank Accounts

I'm kinda grumpy. It could just be the hormones, but I sort of want to punch Santa in the face for being at the mall before Thanksgiving has even had a chance to get here.
It feels like the stores are telling me to HURRY UP AND BUY CRAP!!!! FORGET ABOUT BEING THANKFUL!!!

Thanksgiving is my second favorite holiday. Partly because it's an excuse to eat as much pumpkin pie as I can possibly fit in my tummy-guilt free, and partly because it's not about STUFF; it's about being grateful. Easter is my favorite holiday for nearly the same reasons, except you can sub Cadbury mini eggs for pie. I also like that I have an entire day devoted to feeling grateful for my Savior. How cool is that? (Also, if someone can explain how colored eggs and a bunny fits in with the Resurrection, I'm all ears.)


Anyway, back to wanting to punch Santa in the face.

Today I read about this thing called a Baby Planner or Baby Consultant. Yes, these are real people. They apparently help you buy the best gear for your little Smurf or Smurfette. I'll admit my first thought upon hearing about this was, what is F-ing WRONG with people? My second thought was, how can I take advantage of these morons?" 


Seriously, if you have THAT much money, and no common sense, don't I have a moral obligation to relieve you of your excess Benjamins? Someone should and it may as well be me, since I actually know how to use money, unlike the flakes who hire a Baby Consultant.

Here's a little piece of free advice that includes all the things you MUST have to care for your new baby: baby carrier, diapers, wipes, some clothes, and if you want to obey the law-a car seat. If you're feeling particularly daring, might I suggest you go get a BRAIN as well?
Holy Toledo. If you need any more help, I'd be happy to consult for you. I won't even insult you (to your face). My fee starts at $500 an hour. Trust me, I'm VERY worth it. I'm so full of opinions, I needed a blog to spout them all.

PS Bill, this one was for you.

Best Parts of 2010

The Hubs and I were talking last night about our favorite bits of 2010. Here's a partial list.

1. The kids are now old enough to play together. It's amazing.
2. The Hubs started working from home, which meant two more hours a day I could boss him around spend with him. Yay no commute! We both like that. :)
3. I got 16 credits socked away.
4. We spent the summer in Idaho, and thus out of the heat.
5. We read Dave Ramsey and decided to get out of debt. (Just paid off the car this week!) Not that we had a lot of debt, but now we have less. :D

The Hubs

I thought when The Hubs saw my last post, he would instantly want me to do one for him. I was wrong. His response? "I'm a writer. If I want, I can post a favorites list on my own blog".  (www.arizonamatt.blogspot.com) for those of you keeping track)
Ye-eessss, but this is our FAMILY blog. Plusandalso, more than 2 people read it.
So I made him tell me some things he likes, because I'm evil like that. I'm really hoping this list is no particular order, because I'm sad to say, I did not get top billing. Here's what did:



And then:

• Belgian Chocolate

and

especially WITH ice cream.

THEN

• Me
• The Kids
• Reading
• Programming
• Writing
• And last, but certainly NOT least: Plotting To Take Over The World.  

An Idea Whose Time Has Come

Almost every post is about the kids, which is understandable, since they ARE my world. But the recent spate of "kid-favorite" posts has lead me to the obvious question; what does Momma like? Here, my friends--or cyberspace-- is the answer.

Well, one of them. I also like

and

Now for the less obvious things.

1. Freshly shaved legs, clean sheets and silky pajamas all in the same place at the same time, preferably with 8-9 hours to enjoy them
2. Dark chocolate covered almonds
3. A shower without the possibility of child-related interruptions
4. Lifting weights and running
5. Cooking...uninterrupted
6. Reading a really good book
7. Going to school (wish I liked this one back when I had time to do it)
8. Traveling, mostly without kids
9. DRIVING! LOVE IT!
10. Throwing a party
11. Writing
12. A clean kitchen
13. All the laundry done, and put away
14. Disneyland
The End

V's Favorite Things

I did a post like this for S when he turned one, but I neglected to do it for V. Partly because I didn't know her as well as I knew S.

Here's The Favorites List

Favorite Person: Her Big Brother. Followed by Daddy as a close second. (don't ask me how I feel about this, you don't want to know)
Favorite Food: Peas and cinnamon graham crackers. Maybe it's because she hasn't had cheesecake yet.
Favorite Toy: Anything S is playing with at the time (S's favorite toy happens to be whatever she has)
Favorite Animal: Kitties, or in V-speak, "kkeeee"
Favorite Word: DaDaDaDa
Favorite Activity: being held, then being put down, repeat ad nauseum
Favorite Day of the Week: Sunday (church people ooh and ah and beg to hold her)
Favorite Noise: kkkkkkkkkkkkkkk