Frumptastic

We have an afternoon outdoor wedding coming up. I was looking forward to seeing the family and generally participating in the merry-making, until IT occurred to me. The tiny fact that I've been a stay-at-home-mom for over four years now. This means several things, but the list starts out something like this:

• I have nothing to wear that can't be worn pregnant or nursing. You know, other than MY wedding dress, but somehow I can't see that as being appropriate attire for a guest
• It's been two years since I purchased new mascara. TWO YEARS! 
• My other makeup is almost gone AND older than both my children combined
• I need new shoes to match the dress I haven't bought yet
• My recent weight-loss has affected the size of my... well. I need new underthings. New underthings that correct my sagging-boob disorder. (It's a medical diagnosis, look it up.)

Also I spent all, and by all I mean all and then some, of our discretionary funds putting in a garden the first week of the month so I really have no way to rectify my frumptastic situation unless I feed the family beans and rice for two weeks. Make no mistake, by the end of the month, my kids are going to be fluent in Spanish cooking, but I'll feel guilty about it. Maybe not so guilty since I just realized they get to go to the candy-themed reception followed the next week by a massive Easter breakfast and dinner.

Yesterday I packed my children with me on a little jaunt to the mall. Obviously, I was struck by psychosis, thinking it would be a good idea to take them along while I tried on dresses. The Boy did make himself useful zipping zippers, though.
Have you noticed that dresses these days are either not long enough, or if they are, the top half is lacking in coverage? It's like dress makers forgot the appropriate amount of fabric required to make an article of clothing. This phenomenon is exacerbated by my freakishly tall self. I'm sure a person even two inches shorter would not have as much of a problem finding something that covered their bits.

And do you know what I realized next? No? OK, I'll tell you. The Hubs is coming to the wedding, too. Which means he'll have to wear something.  Luckily his geek-a-licious self looks good in just about anything, assuming he remembers not to mix brown and black or white socks with dress shoes. (Seriously. I have to watch out for those kinds of shenanigans.) My shopping trip netted me one new tie for The Hubs. I'm going out again later to shop for dresses. And maybe a bra that actually fits. :D